?

2AM on a Saturday night and here I am with a Red Bull high laying in my bed
thinking "Fuck, I just wish..."


Alright boys and girls, strap on your boots and put on your hats cause it's time to ride the
"?".

Lets try to make this as painless as possible and search deep down and try to remember when we were....ohh....8 and looking at the world with a mirror for an eye. Everything was sinking in ready to turn the tides and make sure the fucking world didn't hit you like an atom bomb. It's not like 'reality' is that bad unless you've gone up and made a mistake with no way of turning back. Something is always bound to arise out of the depths of the ugly but it takes some soul-searching to find it sometimes.

I'm who I am because all my life i've been asking questions. Who am I seems to be the most prevelant, even though i've narrowed it down to a)a biological wonder b) a neverending chain of cataclysmic anomolies between two members of the same species (this could've fit with "a" but it's supposed to be centered around the "chaos theory") or C) Slaymaker, Jordan A. Soc. Sec. ***-**-**** Born in Fort Polk, Louisiana.....blahblah.

C is the first to hit the tank by process of elimination.

It's only fun to ask myself these questions to see what other kind of fucking ways I can try to describe things. Just sit for a moment and try to define life. I can't come up with an answer worth $10 to anyone. I could try all night but i'd find some fucking way to disprove it by the end of the day. Chances are that you're not alone in thinking anything about...well...anything, though. I mean how many times have you talked to someone for an hour and then suddenly reached a "awkward moment" of silence and then suddenly getting the guts to say "Man, sorry this is awkward" and the other person agrees with you and also apologizes because THEY TOO were thinking the same thing? It's funny how that works out. Coincidence is just that.These things don't happen by magic or "divine intervention". So whats the point? I don't know; I just felt like babbling. I had the thought and felt like saying it.

But hey!; this is my blogispherical entity so theres not much you can do than sit there, read it then rate by your own standards of individuality and orginiallity how "smart" I am.

Oh man, my life depends on your opinion.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

Blunt facts: Jordan doesn't like computers. Jordan doesn't like phones. Jordan doesn't like TV's. Jordan doesn't like "automatic" features on anything.


Solution
Jordan was supposed to be born between 0 and 1940.

Gaza is in flames right now because religious zealots in Israel are claiming Hamas, the states ultimate adversary in religious tensions in the area, needs to be completely eliminated now to ensure peace within the area. Now, I'm not gonna sit here and pick sides and say whos right or wrong. My first consensus is that both of these groups should get over it and accept & respect their differences. BUT me and you know that in this world everyone has to whip their dicks out and claim divine right because of how big your penis turned out. Does Israel have the right to invade Gaza like it is? No. Does Hamas have a reason to defend itself? Yes. BUT that doesnt make their cause any more justifiable than the Israelites' zionist movement or this current campaign. Hypothetically, lets create a country that borders both Israel and Palestine(where Gaza is located) called...hmmm...Gubbleopenstan(sounds German...oh well). Now, Gubbleopenstan has been proclaimed as the 'homeland' for the Christian relgion and its followers. Between these three countries a tri-war ensues. SOMEHOW everyone got pissed off at eachother and we all end up in a giant clusterfuck of a war. 1 blames 2, 2 blames 3 and so on and so on until NO ONE is going to admit responsibility. What's the POINT in fighting for a religion anyways? Ok, fine, SIT there and tell me you're trying to preserve the lives of millions of your citizens by obliterating a nation of it's soldiers and belief that promotes the destruction of your morals and beliefs. But deep down it's so obvious what you're trying to do.....come out on top as the kid with the biggest dick on the playground.

Here ends the phalice talk.

My grandpa, who grew up in the 50's and 60's, is probably one of, if not THE, smartest man i'll ever know. He's not only my grandfather but a friend. If you sat with me and him for at least half an hour you'd probably see a big reason why I am the I am. It's nothing but speculation and paranoia for me and him; asking quetsions up and down and wondering what the hell a old man in his prime and a young kid with big aspirations are doing trying to solve the worlds problems aroun a campfire. I can't even begin to describe what I feel I've missed in the three years I was practically forbiden to have contact with my grandparents,but I finally have the time now to sit and learn wisdom from the man. But I think i've found the way to remember him and maintain my self-reliance in one simple little token.

While discussing the various tattoos my OH SO REBELLIO SELF has decided I would love to get permanantly inked into my body, I was throwing out ideas i'd tossed around but my grandparents with positive reluctance persuaded me to re-consider everything MANY times before I made a final decision. But one idea my grandfather came up with is probably going to end up being my tattoo that I will never have to regret. He proposed the idea of getting a "?" on the inside of my left forearm to honor the thing me and him do most;ask questions. When someone asks me what it means, all i'll say is "It's thing i'll never stop doing; asking questions." The funny thing is though that a famous Italian musician that I admire has the same tattoo, so sadly some of you are going to think there's a 'fanboy' coming out when I say that.

I think the reasoning is good enough for me; sorry.
I could give less of a shit what you think about it :)

We can't close this big clusterfuck of a rant without mentioning the ever so popular boy band, Nine Inch Nails. Hold on, now; i'm not going all 'fan-boy' on you. In fact it's a bit of the opposite. The ridiculous thing about it is that I honestly used to think that the history and deep underground secrets that not every mainstream fan knew were as worthy as the secret to Pandora's Box. But in the recent months after growing out of the "I CAN RELATE TO THIS SONG BECAUSE..." phase, i've weasled into the phase of "you know,the man behind it all is a fucking human being and not a god. Just listen to the music and what he is trying to express as himself." So yeah, I apologize to all of you for the fanboy-isms that you've had to endure for the longest while. It was cool to be the kid who was really into that band that no one really knew the deep dark roots of, but i'm feeling like I could really give less of a shit anymore about how high my "indie points" are.

That being said....
fuck whatever band you're listening to now.

They probably aren't good if at least
three(3) kids in a 50 mile radius
have some form of the merchandise on them, in their closet
or on their Ipod
(or 'Zune' depending how cool you want to be).

Tonight the memory of a summer night when me and my best friend layed out on my trampoline and just talked straight out about things going on around us came back to me. I have to admit it brought a smile to my face.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Announcement!

PLANS AFTER I GRADUATE THIS YEAR
1. Secure a job that will(monetarily) keep me alive.
2. Move to Cleveland(or a suburb of it, ex.Cleveland Heights, Parma).
3. Rent an apartment(either alone or with a friend. REQUESTS NOW OPEN!)
4. Go to school as a history major with a minor in philosophy.
5. Get a new car (Jeep Wrangler, please).
6. Buy a MacBook ONLY so I can play "Left 4 Dead".

I shit you not on all of those.
It's all happening.

I honestly can not believe I made it to 2009. In all seriousness I thought I'd be dead, incarcerated or something else that I can't think of to be witty at the moment.

High school was never really glamorous anyways.

But hey, I'm gonna miss some of you at Fremont Ross.

Keyword: some.



What else do I feel like I need to ramble on about?

Oh hai, "Elephant" just got done downloading.
Cool; go watch that movie.
I've seen maybe half an hour of it so now I need to watch the whole thing.

I feel like i'm forgretting someting....

Oh yeah.
Barack Obama is our new president.

Forgot to spit and piss in all of your faces since the end of the election.

I wouldn't say I "lost interest" in politics,
but I kinda want to take a break after all the shit we did.

Don't worry, the communist in me lives to fight any day.

Damn socialists....
ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL EQUAL!!!!

Man,
people crack me up.

A few good guys I know.

Thanks for taking the time to give a shit.
-Jordan